Learning how to report a robbery while learning English and getting fit? Oh Japanese, you win at multitasking.
Instead of doing housework today, I decided to sew a pair of bloomers because there is nothing that needs to be cleaned as badly as I need a pair of bloomers. Toilets can be dirty, but me not having a completely frivolous item of clothing might end up as some kind of tragedy. Won’t someone please think of the children?
I have not worked on the bloomers at all, except to look at a few pieces of fabric to try to see which pattern would be best. Not that it matters, but still. I’ve spent all morning procrastinating about the thing that I was using to procrastinate about other things.
Today, I was supposed to
clean the house make bloomers. That turned into me learning about the various uses for oilcloth, investigating the thrilling world of vintage doilies, finding some amazing bloggers, petting the dog, and figuring out whether I want to make bread again today. (Spoiler: I don’t.)
Maybe I just want to be totally honest when my hubs comes home, asks what I did today, and I reply “nothing”. That must be it– I’m actually helping our relationship grow. Honesty’s good, right? He had better be impressed.
In my last post, I commented about how I was probably going to abandon this blog in three days.
Look at the date on that entry, and then look at the date on this one. Yeeeeeeah. I know myself all too well.
Last night, I asked on Twitter if I should start a blog. A few people said I should, and since I have the habit of living my life by committee, I decided to make an account here. I had completely forgotten that I already had one, and when I saw my twitter handle and a mysterious blanked out password in the log in box at the top of the screen, it was like I had discovered a gift left from Me-In-An-Alternate-Timeline.
I’m not normally a forgetful person, but things like this make me believe that Doctor Who isn’t some sci-fi adventure program, it’s actually a reality show about a pretty adorable English or Scottish-but-pretending-to-be-English guy who has impeccable fashion sense but questionable culinary tastes and likes to spend time with redheaded Amys. In my world, this completely works, and I do hope none of you decide to burst my bubble. I NEED this, y’all.
Anyway, here I am. Yes, again. I have fantastic intentions to be more regular here, but we all know that I’ll more than likely update you next in about six months. See you then!
My husband asked me again recently if I poop.
Again. Yeah, let that sink in for a second. This conversation has happened before.
After a bit of questioning, he revealed that he doesn’t believe it because he doesn’t have any evidence. With photoshopping, any pictorial evidence I could give him could be faked. With dogs and cats around, I have a never ending supply of decoy poo. Between the crazy technology you kids have invented and my regular life, there is no evidence that will be good enough, y’all. None!
That’s not really the point here though. I am totally getting myself all distracted by defending why I shouldn’t be defending myself over my bowel habits, or lack thereof.
Point is: either way, because of this, I am on my way to sainthood. I might not poop, and that’d be a miracle. Or maybe I do, but the lack of evidence caused My Husband the Nay-Saying Non-Believer to have faith which is kind of a miracle too. I won’t be one of the big saints, but I think I’m in line for one of the lesser roles. I’ll be one of those saints who is the patron saint of things people really don’t need a patron saint for. Maybe Hot Pockets? Is there a saint for them yet?
This will come in really handy next time my mother asks what I’m doing with my life. “Not excreting and working towards sainthood” is a completely reasonable answer, dont you think?
PS- Writing this was way more fun than writing a mission statement for this blog, which Ill probably abandon in three days anyway.
PPS- What does it say about me that I want this post to be my lasting mark on the internet?